The Jewish Food Pyramid
Shvitzin' in the Kitchen with Hutton Gibson
By Mel Gibson's DadHutton Gibson here again. After my last report, I was shocked to receive several letters which were critical of my evaluation of the Spanish Jellyfish crisis of '06. Even more to my dismay, some of these people claimed that I had been unfair towards the Jewish people. Well that is just hog wash I say, hog wash. But just to quell these whiners, today I wanted to share with you a few of my favorite classic Judaic cooking recipes.
First, I want to clear the air: A lot of fuss has been made about Jews drinking the blood of
Christian children, but let me just be the first to say, that's just plain not true. I mean, I never let little Mel close enough to any real life Jews to check (only the practice dummy we keep in the basement), but regardless, everyone knows that a Jew's delicate palate would be burned by the purity of a good christian choir boy, I mean they can't even go in the sun without turning to dust (editor's note: Mr. Gibson sometimes confuses Jews with vampires).
Now everyone knows that Jews love macaroons, but what a lot of people don't know is that the Jewish food pyramid consists of several less than conventional delicasies.
I don't want to get into the intricate history of Schmaltz just here; what I would like to discuss is the Jewish penchant for consuming classic cultural icons. Now I'm the first to say that exposure to too many cartoon characters and toys will just turn a good child rotten. A boy's best and only true companion should begin in the beginning and end at the end of days. You know what they say, one good book deserves another. I'm talking about the bible, you damn fool. But still, I found I was rather chilled when I saw these photos, which my boy Mel sent me from his recent Safari into the Jewish Jungle (editors note: Mr. Gibson uses the phrase "Jewish Jungle" to refer to New York City. The views expressed by Mr. Gibson are not representative of the Goldstein and Faber Publishing House). I remeber when I took Mel on his first safari. It was all fun and games till he got into the damn Dingo tranquilizers... Eh, what was I saying? Oh yeah, look at the pictures!
No amount of disguises would help this Mr. Potatohead
The Pilsbury Doughboy has a rude homecomming
Unfortunately Nemo found more than he bargained for
A balanced diet -- a little vegetables, a little mermaid and a little baby.
posted by Shlomocles @ 8:17 PM
1 Comments:
heh... shmaltz... heh...
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